Lessons My Mom Taught Me: A Series

Hello again friends, back atcha with another blog post.

Today we are starting a new series called “Things My Mom Taught Me”!

I was just in the shower and I was thinking about my life ~ who else reflects on their entire life while burning hot water soothes them?? Just me? But I was thinking about life in general, my family, my husband, and his family. That got me thinking.

My mom alwaaayyyyys told me from a young age that when you marry someone you also marry their family. I truly believe she was super right about this and then I thought about other things she would say to me while growing up and was like damn, I should just make it a series lol

& if you’re wondering, my dad was also on board with everything she told me but if I were making a series about things my dad taught me, it would revolve more around starting your Roth IRA as soon as you can, living within {or even slightly below} your means, and what it means to be a good leader.

There are things I have and will do differently from my parents {no shade to them ~ we’re diff people and in different times than when they raised us} when it comes to parenting but I want to share the tokens of wisdom my parents/mom have taught me and what it looks like to implement these teachings.

So back to what inspired this series: when you marry someone you marry their family.

Let me explain.

Often times {esp in Hawaii} families are close ~ relationship wise but also in proximity. If you’re dating someone whose mom is a nightmare, who has an opinion {typically a negative one} about absolutely everything and isn’t afraid to let you know? That shit isn’t going away after you get married, you’re dealing with that for the rest of your life.

Does your partner’s sibling exclude you, make snide comments, turn your future in laws against you? Yeah, that’s not going anywhere either. Even if you future in laws see this behavior, they’re almost always going to choose their children over you.

Let’s say it actually has nothing to do with you. Let’s say that the family dynamic is just really toxic, maybe they’re racist, splash in some homo/transphobia. Even if your partner is not like their family, you’re still going to have to be around them at the very least during the holidays and birthdays but usually more. This is the family that you may be around often, this is the negativity your children may be around often.

This is what my mom meant by “you marry the family”.

Thank the actual Lord above because my in laws are fabulous. My mother + father in law were welcoming from the start and were always there for me when I needed them. Now they are amazing grandparents as well ~ which is no surprise to me. From my brothers in law to grandma in law, I really love them all as my own.

I really lucked out and got blessed by an amazing husband but also with amazing in laws.

…I hope my brother’s husband felt like he got blessed by marrying into our family 😐😂

Of course this is just an opinion and an observation. You can conduct your relationships how you please. But this is definitely something I will be teaching my son, Noah, when he gets older.

I would love to hear from you readers. Are you in or have you ever been in a relationship where your partner’s family is just…..not it? How was that? Did it affect your relationship to your partner? I’d love to know but more over, I think it would be great for others {esp my younger readers who may not think this is a big deal or that their looOooOve will conquer all} to get more insight on.

I’ve been in a relationship where my partner’s mom didn’t like me simply because no one would’ve ever been good enough for her son…liiiikeeee uh ok he is not perfect lemme tell you lmao but seriously, I was young and thought that “she’ll come around” and three years later…. she did not lol thankfully I did not marry into that family.

ANYWAYS!

That’s part one of this new series. I hope you enjoyed it. I would love to know what your mom or dad or grandparents or guardian told you a lottttt growing up that maybe you’ve come to realize or you listened to them and it really helped you out!

Stay tuned for part two, coming soon!

That’s all I got for ya for today.

Sending you all love + light!

xx,

Laurena