What is up beauty babes?? Hope you’re having your best day yet!
Today we’re diving a little deeper than just makeup + skincare ~ however, still very important ; )
We’re going to get a little personal and a little vulnerable today. Not because it’s easy, but because if you know me personally, then you know just how much my relationship means to me and what I’ve gone through to get to where I am when it comes to opening up my heart to someone and I want to start sharing more of my heart with you all.
Now let’s not shed any tears (mainly talking to myself here ~ because, again, if you know me personally, I’m an emotional WRECK). So let’s just start small:
Thomas. Tommy. Tom Tom. My best friend. My love.
We just celebrated our three-year anniversary!
Three years is an interesting year, because both of our last relationships ended around three years.
TOTALLY for a different blog post ~ if ever.
I could probably talk about Tommy forever. But today we’re just going to stick with three things I’ve learned in our three years of dating.
Let’s dive in:
1) WE DON’T ALWAYS HAVE TO AGREE
Oh man. This one messed me up GOOD.
Now, the things we disagreed on weren’t huge political, religious views or whether or not we’d get married or have kids (p.s it’s always been a deal breaker if a guy didn’t want kids or to get married). And I’m sure there are people in (happy?) relationships who have different views on aforementioned views/values. But that’s just not me.
But back on track here: I thought that if we couldn’t agree on EVERYTHING, we weren’t “meant to be”
L O L, right? What a young child. Pfft.
It took me a good… year? (Tom is probably rolling his eyes and thinking “more like three years and counting” lol) to figure out and be okay with not agreeing on everything.
“Agreeing to disagree” is a thing WAY unfamiliar to me. Probably doesn’t help that I’m a Leo who can be VERY head strong and think’s she’s right 99.9% of the time. Whoops.
But I believe I’m getting better at it? Clearly something I will continue to work on. But we actually haven’t had many things to disagree on lately. Love it.
2) YOU CAN FIND SOMEONE WHO IS PERFECT FOR YOU
Now let me be very clear: I did not say you can find a perfect person. I’m a huge believer in “nobody’s perfect” *cue Hannah Montana
But I do believe that you can find a person who is everything you didn’t know you needed.
I’m going to get very real here for a second. I don’t talk much about this online, because I still have a lot of respect for who I’m talking about, but here we go:
I used to be in a relationship with someone who I really thought I’d end up with. He was an all around great dude ~ but he did not support my dreams.
At the time, I thought that I could look past that because when it came to everything else, he was a good boyfriend. But I grew up and realized I couldn’t look past it. I knew he could see that too.
As immature and naive as it sounds ~ I’ll be honest here ~ it felt like I wouldn’t find someone as good or who’d treat me so well.
Once we broke up, I gave myself one boyfriend-less year to heal, move on, find myself again, and really figure out what I needed in a man.
At almost exactly 13 months later, who magically appears into my life like a blessing straight from God? Tommy. And his dimples. (Thanks, God!)
He supports and encourages my dreams. He’s gentle in caring for my mental health. He finds importance in creating meaningful relationships with my family members. He constantly puts in effort. He’s everything.
3) CHANGE IS NECESSARY
Whoever said “this is who I am, take it or leave it” is lazy and selfish as shit. I’m just being honest here.
Now I’m not saying that you should change your core values to be with a person, but changing some habits may be necessary.
Let’s use Tommy as an example here (sorry babe, lol): Tommy had to change his habit of not checking in when he would go out drinking with the boys.
Let me explain.
I’m a communication freak and love set plans. Let’s just say that his friend are not “let’s make plans three weeks in advance and stick to them” kinda dudes. And that’s fine!
I would get upset when he wouldn’t let me know when he’d leave the house, while he was out, or when he’d get home! Um, hello? Did you get into an accident? Have you died? Abducted? I’m serious! It doesn’t help that alcohol was involved. I was very anti-alcohol at the time.
For me, it had nothing to do with Tommy being sketch and all to do with safety. All I’d ask for was a text to let me know that you’ve left the house and when you’ve gotten home so I know you’re safe. You don’t even have to text me throughout the night. I don’t ask for much, right??
Whether my request (demand? lol) was valid or necessary to him, he adjusted and sent a quick text each time thereafter because he knew how much it meant to me to have that peace of mind. Simple.
Not each change or adjustment is that simple, but realizing that there are always areas of improvement (for anything in life, really) was a crucial piece of continuing to have a successful partnership and mutual respect.
In these past three years, I’ve definitely learned more than just these three things, but these were the ones I wanted to share today! Let me know in the comments or on Instagram if you want to know more!
There aren’t enough blog posts to truly explain how much I love and appreciate Tommy, but I hope that this is a start. Tommy’s such a huge part of my life and I want to share more of who I am and why I am with you all.
I really hope you enjoyed today’s post and got a better idea of the cutie that’s in all of my vlogs and the one I’m always posting about on Instagram!
Until next time,